no chasing rainbows

I'm feeling a little lazy today.  Tomorrow I hope to make up for it, and clean out the kids toys.  After Christmas and birthday time the new toys come in and the old just don't get played with.  Some might be good for Bella, like all those puzzles.  Some of their toys I have very carefully chosen for them, and spent good money on.  So I become sort of attached.  Some of their toys, I know right now I'm going to keep forever.  I know, silly.  I should go scrounge up in my parents attic and see what toys I can find up there.  I know they gave a lot to friends, but I managed to hide some things away.  I remember thinking that it would be an eternity before I would ever have kids or be interested in looking at that stuff again.  At the time I thought it would be more likely that the world would blow up first. 

Today I had a thought that as a woman ages her life just gets less and less fun.  As a child your life is so fun you don't even realize it.  As a teenager and young adult everything is such a possibility, wondering what you will be it's hard to smell the roses.  When you are a married woman, there still seems like more you can improve on, the kitchen remodel, the babies, that vegetable garden I always wanted to plant.  As the kids get older you live your ambitions and happiness through them.  And when they are out of the house, you are too tired to do anything truly exciting.  So really, in life you have nothing to look forward to everything is a giant downhill slide into your own death.  That seems like the most depressing thought ever thought.  It's really rather not, to me.  You just have to see where you are, and enjoy that point you are living.  What is great about where I am right now?  I have three little ones that are a constant entertainment, and need me desperately, almost for their own survival.  I have a husband who also loves me.  I am healthy, and still am not "old" looking.  Here's to 30! Not to the past, my fun single college days.  Not to the future, empty nest/retirement.  God, I love where I'm at.

For my prayer tonight I'm going to do a little research about Siroki Brijeg a Franciscan Monastery where I met the Holy Spirit.

Come, O Most Holy Spirit, You who are our peace, come fill us with peace. You who are love, fill us with love and blessing and salvation. We are not here accidentally. We have been called, that we may be able to recognize our call and our mission. We ask You to come O Most Holy Spirit, that our masks may melt away, that our true face may be revealed before You.

Today at their tomb, we learn who Jesus is for me today. Who is Jesus today in my family? Is Jesus today my God and my everything in my home, in my life and in my work? If truly Jesus is my God and my everything, then can I say that I don't have time to pray? If Jesus is my God and my everything, can I then say that I don't have time or I am not able to go to Mass on Sundays? Who is Jesus today for me and what am I prepared to give for Him today? This is a question that you must ask dear pilgrims. Is Jesus only a theory for you, is He only an ideology? Is He the One whom you have read about or studied about, or is He the One who is truly your God, and your everything?