I write therefore I am

I have been rather excited the last few days, because of the lists.  I don't know how I get to where I don't have them, but I love to make lists.  Partly because I am forgetful, and scatter-brained (which I blame on having a lot going on in my life) And partly because I guess I'm one of those people who likes to visualize that a task has been completed by crossing it off a list.  I was thinking about it at work this weekend.  I wrote out what I needed to do for the week (this week is particularly busy) and I had a nice sense of peace. 

The things that I have done at work to help me out with my career are all list related, and I like writing things out.  A lot.  Its the best way for me to pray.  It's really amazing that I didn't start this blog years ago.  I feel like there is something very permanent about writing.  Something I write on a page is as easier to destroy than me, but I know that one day not too many distant years from now I will end, and there is a possibility that the page will still be around.  I  know I am certainly not the first one to have this thought.  Possibly it occurs to every literate person.  But I feel like it has real value, and meaning for me.  Possibly even purpose. 

In high school you are told to just "be yourself, don't try to be like what you think others want you to be"  but most certainly a young person, and possibly an old person doesn't know "who I am" or what that even means.  But I think I have found out a piece of that.  I am a writer.



Duh.  If I write something I am a writer.  So far I have written nothing, and have nothing in my mind worthy of others attention.  But maybe someday.  The best ideas in my life lately have been the most obvious.  It was there all along -slap yourself in the forehead- sort of things.  But I think that is a good indicator that something is right and it already fits.  It just needed a voice. 

So I have my list now, and I am also able to cross a few things off the one I had already.  I talked with, and plan on meeting up soon with both my grandmothers.  Another reason I feel good is that I feel very organizational.  I keep looking at things and wishing I had the time to stop right there, and clean it out. Like with nesting, only not that much. 

So that going to bed early thing didn't work out for today, but I am going to try again tomorrow.  I think it could really help. 

St. Francis de Sales, who with your pen converted Christians, when other men and other methods had failed.  Be with me on my written journey, as I aim to glorify God, and communicate to my self, my savior, and others my humble thoughts most undeserving of your attention.  Help me to understand the Lord's role for me, and help me to grow closer to him- my ultimate goal.  Amen.